Pain

Tears of anger, tears of pain, back and forth.. over and over again.
When will this mental war ever cease? When will we ever back down enough to put up a white flag?
Never, but that is only my opinion.
It's my war, it's my fight. My head will always be held up high.
He doesn't know how much it hurts me, how I always seem to cry after our disputes.
Even though, time and time again it happens. I would have thought I was smarter.
When will my war ever cease? When I go away, for good?
But it seems our bond is strong, though what he does wreaks havoc on my mind.
I"m scared. I'm scared of what he can do to me, mentally, and physically.
For months now, nothing has happened. But I knew that it was too good to last.
He seems to seek pleasure from hurting other people, from feeling power.
But when will it ever cease? Will I have to die fighting this never ending mental war?
My will is too strong to give up, though tears come out.
I'm not strong enough to block out body responses, nor strong enough to keep my thoughts in bay, but I know I can stand up to his anger, and to his strength.
I'm supposed to be used to it, but I'm not. Why is that?
Why is it that I know what to expect, yet still quiver in fear? Though I don't show it.
My white flag will never wave.