night

the night instilled a silence in her that she loved. she was always loud during the day, putting on an amazing facade that no one could break through. but at night, always at night, she could put away her mask, and just be her.
to dance around, to cry, so bellow to her heart's desire.


the mask was always gone, her soundproof walls were the only ones who heard her, and she never had to worry about gossip or judgements.
she used the time to renew herself, to pull strength from herself.

her time was used to think, to cry, to laugh.

but mostly, it was used to read the stories,
the little stories about hope, love, and true bliss.

stories that she hoped one day, just one day,
would happen to her.

so

"So i says to 'im, imma gonna make you a deal-a. If you pays back the money yous owes me, Ricky 'ere won't 'urt you that hard."

Running

Sweat dripped on her shoulders, and her breathing became short and ragged. She was running for her life, adrenaline pumped through her veins as her body used up the energy she had left. She started slowing, she new it. But the monster was right behind her, panting and scratching his way through the forest. Tears started seeping out of her eyes as she thought she was coming to the end, but instinct told her to keep running. So she ran, faster than she ever had before. The wind that slapped her face made her hair fan out behind her, spreading her scent everywhere for the monster. Her muscles screamed in protest, and started cramping. Her sides ached, everything ached. She tripped, and screamed. Her hand had a deep gash in it, and blood already oozed out of the cut. She looked frantically about her and spotted a tree, which she rapidly started climbing.
And she saw it: the smoke-colored fur that covered its body had tangles and spotted with the blood of its other victims. It raised its dog-like nose in the air and started sniffing, his eyes full of bloodlust as it flickered left and right. It spotted her quickly, and fear radiated off her body like a lightbulb. As it started snickering and climbing up the tree, she screamed.

copy

Uncontrolled rage washed through her body as she screamed at no one and everyone. She was alone in her house, who could hear her? She screeched profanities at pictures, and told everyone what she really thought about them. She was tired, after day after day of facades. Linda especially. She was tired of how Linda kept on pushing her over, making assumptions, and thinking that she knew everything. She was tired of being especially nice to her.
And to Gloria. Her picture frame shattered as it hit the cement floor, and received extra abuse. Why did she keep on trying to be someone she wasn't?! Why was she copying her? Why?!

XXX

The next day came, and she pasted a smile on her face as she walked out the front door. "Good morning Gloria, Linda. Wonderful morning isn't it?"

wishes

the harsh, cold winter wind
made her nose red and her lips blue.
it made her shiver violently,
and made her teeth chatter.

the day before the sun was blistering hot,
the weather was dry, cracking her lips.
the orange leaves crackled on the ground,
a strange autumn.

she had wished for winter to come,
for the weather to change,
for she longed to see snow again.
she yearned for the cold.

but now, as she all-but-froze in the snow,
she reminisced of the strange autumn,
how the sun burned hotter than summer,
and how it warmed you to the bones.

POV

her face hurt.
it was being slapped, again and again.
no dinner for her.
it was her birthday.

and yet,
she felt pity for the woman slapping her.
her foster mother.
it was the way the woman was raised, and so she thought it was the only way.

she had a quiet party that night,
with her stuffed bear and mud pies.
she pretended her parents were there with her,
showering her with hugs and kisses.

she came from an abusive 'family' and yet,
when she was out with others,
she was truly happy.
she had a life to live, she wasn't impoverished, and she had friends.

she knew that one day,
some day,
she was going to have a life,
and maybe, love.

rants

She screamed at the top of her lungs, frustrated at the world, frustrated in her situation, and frustrated in herself. Why did she have to be in this family? One that screams and fights so often. Why did she have to be in this crisis, where everyone can turn around and stab you in the back.

She shed the tears that she had been holding back for so long, bearing the turmoil that was in her heart. She was alone, no one could see her now. She punched and kicked and dug her nails into her palms until blood gushed out. Her life's blood, dripping down her arms like streams. She threw whatever she could get ahold of, and beat whatever she could.

Pain meant nothing. She had withstood her fair share, and more. She collapsed onto the floor, and shuddered as sobs wracked her body.